Don’t Call it a Comeback
“Don’t call it a comeback, I been here for years”
Dear Readers,
I’m back after overthinking coming back for over a year. I’m in my bed at 3:47 am writing this down before it gets stale. I’m laying in the middle of the bed when I think, I’m proud of myself because I’m laying in the middle of the bed. I am finally utilizing the entire bed. For over a year I had a whole body of pillows and things stacked up beside me. Many times I tried to force myself into the middle and I’d roll tightly back into my comfort zone.
I’ve been separated for over a year and I’m just getting used to sleeping alone.
I was recently watching a cute Hallmark movie where the daughter of parents who had separated said, “Mommy and daddy are going to get back together I just know it, because they both still sleep on their side of the bed like the other part of them in is missing.” In Hallmark fashion, she was right, her parents did get back together. I laughed and said, in the real world….. that’s not happening.
There’s a line from the movie, The Five Heartbeats that says something like, “You’ll become a better writer when you suffer more.” I never wanted to suffer more to become a better writer. I can remember watching that movie in later years and being haunted by the fact that I could write better if I wrote the whole truth. I wrote the good truth and the funny truth but not the truth that made me feel vulnerable and exposed to my family, friends and the internet. I’m embarking on a new journey and now I feel free to write whatever I want.
I thought I didn’t want my website/blog anymore, as if it were the furniture I left behind in the separation. But all I needed to do with this space as I’ve done with other keepsakes, is to put my old writing in storage until I have room for it. My old posts are behind a paywall until I decide what I want to keep, what I want to share and what I’ll get rid of. There’s a lot to unpack.
This is my first post, with a fresh coat of paint on the website. All the other doors are closed and locked until I clean up, bring over the baggage and unpack the memories.
